Dr. Rug (and a special guest) rank the top 24 of ’24

By Dr. Rug (and Nived Coustom)

Hello friends, family, and fellow fastballers, 

The Doctor is back.

That’s right, after a 3-year hiatus I am finally (or perhaps unfortunately in some eyes) back in your lives. But this time I’m not alone, I’ve brought a great friend along with me for this year’s journey into the best of the best of YK Fastball. This man needs no introduction but I’m going to introduce him just the same. He is a former Territorials MVP and may have had the single greatest Territorial tournament of this millennium, he crushes long balls, is the best defensive center fielder since Borko’s prime, can play any position on the field, and can toe the mound and strike you out when needed. Not only that, but he’s a beauty of a human being, has impeccable taste in women, and has such glorious flowing hair that even I get jealous on occasion. There’s no other person that I would rather share a byline with than this man, Mr. Nived Coustom. Welcome sir.

Before we delve into this year’s rankings, and, more importantly, before I pass it over to Mr. Coustom for an intro of his own, I’m going to take a few moments of your time to introduce you to the process that we used for this year’s rankings. As I’m sure most of you are aware, the player trade value rankings were released on a semi-regular basis throughout the 2010’s, culminating in the top 200 historical list in 2019. If you’ve missed any of those rankings and have a few hours to kill then take yourself over to the articles page on the website (Articles – Yellowknife Fastball League) and dive down that rabbit hole. Traditionally, the rankings have been 100% numbers based in order to provide an accurate, factual, indisputable list of the top players in the league. This year we’re changing it up. Facts can get boring. There were no valid arguments you could have over any of the previous rankings, top to bottom they were correct. In order to inspire more discussion and debate, this year’s rankings are going to be 100% subjective. We’ve left it up to you, the players, to provide your personal insight (or lack thereof) into who you believe are the best players in the league. As I’m sure anyone that has ever been on Twitter (or Couvrette’s facebook page) knows, personal opinions are often completely inaccurate… which can make for some entertaining debates. This year I reached out to the league and asked for their opinions on the top players. The rankings are an accumulation of the feedback that I received. They are biased, of that I am sure. But they are your biases that make these rankings what they are, so you have no one to blame but yourselves (i.e. your teammates and opponents) if you disagree. With that said, please feel free to express your disagreement in the beer gardens at the league championships. I look forward to the discussion. 

Anyway, that’s more than enough of my preamble, I’m sure this article will be long enough without it. Mr. Coustom, I’ll now pass it over to you for a little introduction of yourself and what inspired you to jump into the writing game here on the YK Fastball website? After that we’ll get into the rankings and our reactions to those rankings. Take it away Nived… 

By the beard of Zeus, that was an introduction. I feel as if I’ve been gently placed into a silk bag full of puppies with that incredibly warm welcome. Thank you Dr. Rug, for including me on this waggish endeavour. I can echo pretty well all of your gracious compliments right back at you, and I do appreciate the nod to my Territorials performance. I will attribute most of that performance to being mentored by legends of the league such as yourself, Paul Gard, Brent Hinchey, and of course a top-tier Hay River Community Dance. I am happy to be making my debut as a contributor to a YK Fastball League article. As a player in the league since 2010, after being imported to the HBC Diamondbacks from the Professional Recreational Tier 3 League du France, I have always enjoyed reading your articles as many people do. When you departed Yellowknife to start your quest on seeking if any other Doctors exist in the world with unwavering athleticism and an exuberant personality (spoiler alert- Dr. Rug is the only one who possesses these qualities), I thought to myself: “I might try and write an article for the Fastball League. I know enough people who play, I’ve seen enough things happen, this shouldn’t be hard”. After months of attempting to write, hitting every writer’s block possible, turning my garbage can into a notebook graveyard, and thinking it wouldn’t be that hard; the words of Brent Jennings portraying Ron Washington in Moneyball slapped me in the face: “It’s incredibly hard”. 

After some reflection I realized I needed to crawl before I can walk, and walk before I can run. As Bruce Waugh once said, “I should’ve had the hot dog before I got hit in the face, the ketchup makes my stitches sting”. So, here I am to eat my hot dog before I get hit in the face, so the ketchup won’t sting my stitches. I appreciate you bringing me on, I’m excited to talk YK Fastball with you, and I’m excited for these rankings as I feel like our league is filled with skill and talent at the moment. Let’s get into it.

Words of wisdom from the legendary Bruce Waugh. I cannot think of a better person to be quoting in your first official YK Fastball league column, well done Mr. Coustom! 

I agree with you, the league is stocked with skill and talent at the moment and it’s going to be a joy to make our way through these rankings. As you know, we asked players in the league to send us their top 20 players for the 2024 season and we’ve entered those submissions into a tweaked version of Dr. Rug’s player trade value algorithm to come up with our list of the top 24 for 2024. I went with the top 24 for a couple of reasons. One, because “24 for 24” sounds cool, and two (spoiler alert), because sometimes even Dr. Rug’s ego needs to be stoked so I wanted to make it onto the list.

Before we get into the rankings let’s start with a discussion of a few of the players who didn’t make the top 24. Of everyone not in the top 24 there are two categories of players, those that fall into the “Others receiving votes” category (i.e. they received at least one vote but fell outside the top 24, obviously) and those not receiving any votes at all. Hopefully without being too critical of the players in the league, two questions for you to start off with, one for each of those categories. 

Question number 1, which player that did not receive a single vote was the biggest surprise in your eyes? Who’s someone you thought would get at least one sympathy vote from a teammate that didn’t?

Question 2, which player in the “Others receiving votes” category was the biggest surprise to you? Who got a vote that made you think, “Wow!”? 

You know, it’s too bad that we aren’t able to use the unadulterated version of Dr. Rug’s Player Trade Value Algorithm. Even the memories of that algorithm being used spark tingling feelings of jubilation from my dry scalp to my toe hair. For some of you who may be new to Dr. Rug and the YK Fastball League, please know that the pure non-tweaked version of that algorithm has ended many late-night Yellowknife bar debates on who is the undisputed king of the Yellowknife Fastball League. As our long-time readers know, this question begs to be answered every year by Dr. Rug and his extensive team of evidence-based researchers. Maybe one day when the league goes back to doing stats (rest easy, Jimmy), the debates can be ended on pure fact. For now, I look forward to sparking some opinionated arguments with these rankings. Because we all know as recreational small-town athletes, if you can’t argue about the stats, you can argue about the perspectives of your peers.

To your questions…

First off, which player that did not receive a single vote was the biggest surprise in your eyes? Who’s someone you thought would get at least one sympathy vote from a teammate that didn’t?

I pondered this quite a bit, and honestly it was tough to think about as I feel like the people on this list are the people who should be on this list. After some deep reflection and analyzing hours of film from the season, I actually have two players that didn’t receive a vote that were surprising to me. 

1. Rob Gau: I am surprised that Rob didn’t appear on the voting results for a few reasons. First off, I believe Rob is one of the longest tenured Thunder players on their roster (if not the longest- show some respect to the vets, guys). Rob can play a few positions in the infield but has held down first base for the Thunder for quite some time and has done so with respectable defense. It’s not often that Rob makes unforced errors on first, and with the revolving-door Thunder infield he has shown some adversity in that position. Couple his defense with his improved bat, and I figured he would have been mentioned on a ballot or two. Especially with the Bryce Harper-esque chin guard attached to the batting helmet- those are cool, right? RIGHT???
2. Brian Boyer: One thing I am not surprised with is Steve Thomas’s position on the rankings. One thing I am surprised with, is that Brian was not one of the members of the Prospectors to receive a vote. His defense can be shaky at times (which is standard for any Prospectors not named Steve, Steve, or Gavin), but I believe his bat to be severely underrated. Brian can’t be looked at as a, “throw 3 strikes and sit him down” kind of guy; and at times I think pitchers approach him that way. In my experience, Brian can take advantage of pitches left over the plate and cashes in when it matters. Unfortunately, our league statistics department has been lacking with the sabermetrics for the past few years, but I feel like Boyer would excel in categories like wRC, O-Swing %, and Clutch Hitting. Unfortunately, this list is not just based on hitting, which may have hindered Brian appearing on a ballot.

Secondly, which player in the “Others receiving votes” category was the biggest surprise to you? Who got a vote that made you think, “Wow!”? 

Once again, this was quite difficult as I feel like the people who are on this list are the people who should be on this list. I will go against the grain here in saying that I was surprised by someone in the “others receiving votes” category; not because they received a vote, but because they did not receive enough votes to make the top 20 list. 

Matthew Kennedy: I was surprised to see that Matty K did not make the cut. I felt like he would’ve comfortably slid in the top 20, in the 14-20 range (I had him ranked at 15 in my rankings). Matty possesses a powerful bat, has made improvements regarding his control on the mound, and can hold down both hot corners with the best of them. Given the folding of the Trappers and Matt’s move to the Thunder, he has stepped in with grace and contributed to the team. Matt has bounced back from two surgeries on his arm from doing bicep curls with a washing machine (not a joke- lift with your legs kids. Also probably the only person in the league who can curl a washing machine), and you’d never guess he sustained an injury that severe with how he has been playing. Matty has been in the league for a while and although he still almost dislocates his hips trying to hit change-ups, there are more pros to his game than cons and I was surprised to see him on this list.

Thanks for the insight, Mr. Coustom, it’s good to see our thinking is aligned in many ways. 

I wholeheartedly agree that it would be great if the league could go back to doing accurate stats (you’re always in our hearts, Jimmy) and the algorithm could get fired back up annually, but until then, we’re stuck arguing about the perspectives of our peers. Good times.

Speaking of perspectives, it is interesting to see the formats that you get back when you ask for a list of top 20 players and this most certainly played a role in how the rankings turned out. The submissions included lists that were presented “in no particular order”, a list that was sent in tiers of players as opposed to a top 20 order (I have to assume that Ian is a big fantasy football guy for submitting his list this way), and a top 20 list that only included 13 people (some classic Mildred Hall math from Mr. Nichols). The varied submissions provide some challenges to the calculations, but in the end, tweaks were made to the algorithm, and we have our list of “24 for 24”. One thing the tweaked algorithm did not account for however, is the fact that over half of the submissions came from Giants players. For most players in the league there is bias in favour of their teammates, thus, when no one on your team submits a response to Dr. Rug’s call-outs you’re more likely to be underrepresented on the list (see: the Thunder, the Mariners). 

But we’ve done the best we can with the material we have to work with. Now before we get to the top 24, it’s only fair that I give my thoughts on the questions that I asked of you.

The most surprising player that did not receive a vote…

As I mentioned to you in our pre-article chat, I had a wonderful response prepared for this question full of humour, insight, and motivation but then you sent me your top 20 list (the final list I received) and ruined my response by picking all the guys that were previously being overlooked. Well played Mr. Coustom, well played. As a result we’re stuck with this second-rate response to the question.

Reviewing the list of players not receiving votes for a second time these are the guys that stood out for me:

• Bruce Waugh – Solidly in the “Michael Jordan on the Washington Wizards” phase of his career at this point.
• Byron Kotokak – He was a co-recipient of the 2024 Sport North Male Athlete of the Year after all.
• Brian Boyer – I agree with you on the Boyer choice. I don’t know what it is, but he seems to come up with a lot of big hits for the Prospectors. I thought he might get a shoutout.

Who did get a vote that surprised me… the easiest answer to this is the vote I received for “that kid River on the Mariners”. I don’t have a “River” listed on the registration list so either he’s not registered or the voter got the name wrong. Either way, I’m not sure who this vote was intended for (and my apologies to Mr. River if you are in fact on the Mariners, apparently you caught the eye of one of our voters). Other names in this category that surprised me for various reasons:

• Bryson Helyar and Nik Koe – My surprise with these two is the same as your logic for Matty K. I’m very surprised that you and I are the only ones that had either of them on our lists. It shocked me that no one else had them listed, particularly with the number of games they are playing as pick-ups for other teams, and the quality of play that they are contributing as said pick-ups (I even had Bryson above one of the guys that made the top 10). Given their age and dedication, these two will undoubtedly be in the top 25 of 25 if we have this list again next year.  
• Kevin Vallillee and Stephen Robertson – The obvious surprise here is that they made the list despite their absence from the league this year. I do appreciate the following comment that I received regarding the home plate half of Steve Squared (trademark still pending),
  “I think the Prospectors struggles since he went down show how valuable he really is to them. Because they have big Steve he might be the 2nd most valuable player in the league just because he can catch him.”

A very interesting perspective that I hadn’t considered before. The counter argument I would have against that is that there is likely 5-10 guys on other teams in the league that would be capable of catching Steve, so does Wildcard get bonus points solely for the fact that he plays on the Prospectors while these other catchers don’t? Should anyone capable of catching Steve get bumped onto the list? In my mind neither of those seem fair. But that is the beauty of leaving this voting up to everyone’s own personal criteria, the criteria can be flawed. 

Well, we’re hovering somewhere around the 3,000 word mark, perhaps it’s time to jump on into the actual Top 24 for 24. Let’s do this in 6 person increments (give or take, this may change as we progress). Mr. Coustom, what are your thoughts, your insights, and your questions around numbers 24 through 19 on the list?

24. Joey Borkovic

23. Jaden Beck

22. Darren Campbell

21. Mike Auge

20. Jon Whitford

19. Ryan Theil

I will make a quick note on the whole, “that River kid on the Mariners” topic. If my memory serves me correctly, that would be River McQueen, and I will say that if he sticks with fastball he will be one very effective player. That kid has some ungodly speed, and quick hands at the plate (likely translated from his hockey game, which is top notch). Possibly the next Borko? (on field attributes only, JoBo cannot be replicated)

On the Borko note: the rankings!

24. Joey Borkovic: Not much surprise that Borko makes the list. If he plays more games he is definitely ranked higher. Borko’s ability through his speed is unmatched in the league and when his bat is hot he can hit anything. 

23. Jaden Beck: Similar to Joey, Jaden’s speed is extremely threatening to teams, ESPECIALLY on the base path. I think Jaden is possibly the only person I’ve seen steal third, routinely; and make it look routine. Jaden’s having a bit of a down year at the plate but makes up for it with his defence and quickness- he’s always putting pressure on people with his speed and base running. 

22. Darren Campbell: Solid defensively, has hit the ball well this year, and contributed in his role to the Rockies success. Checks all the boxes to make the rankings. 

21. Mike Auge: If Dr. Rug didn’t make his own rankings, there would be serious problems in the world. With the earlier, Bruce Waugh/Wizard’s Jordan comparison, I’d like to make a Mike Auge/2014 Tim Duncan comparison. Injuries have possibly caught up to the Doc and slowed him down a step, but the Educated Fundamental still has championship pedigree and plate discipline that is second-to-none. 

20. Jon Whitford: I will be honest in that I was a bit surprised to see Jon make the rankings for one reason only- his bat. I can remember the days where Jonny was putting balls on reservoir road and at the top of the league in dingers. I think he’s having a bit of a down year with his bat, but it’s hard to argue with his ability to play first base. 

19. Ryan Theil: The Traitorous Theil! Ryan is an exceptional utility man. He can catch, play first, toe the mound, roam the outfield, and is not an easy out at the plate. He is Slades Swiss Army Knife, and an integral part of their team. 

Ooohhhh… River McQueen. Thank you for educating me Mr. Coustom. I haven’t seen River play but given his pedigree I have no doubt that he would be an exceptional fastball player if he dedicated some time and effort to the game. I’m not sure if he deserves a vote for the top 20 current players but I can respect the nod to the future and the skill here. I’m sure he’s at least as valuable as an injured Ishii or Wildcard. 

My thoughts on players 24 through 19… 

You’ve done a great job capturing the essence of each of those guys so I don’t have much to add. Basically, other than Jaden, it looks to me to be a solid group of guys who are past their prime but still hanging onto enough skill to be legitimate threats in the league. 

As for Jaden, please allow me a few sentences to expatiate about one of my longtime YK Fastball crushes. As you accurately state, he’s having a bit of a down year at the plate, which probably kept him out of the top 20. More than that though, I believe that being on Gastown hurts him a lot in the overall rankings. Both his defensive skills and his baserunning get massively downplayed because of the all-around strength of the team. Jaden has the defensive skills to play (and excel at) 3B, SS, 2B, and CF, but because of his flexibility, and more so the inflexibility of a lot of the other Giants players, he is relegated to playing a corner OF position more often than not. This is not nearly as valuable defensively, it is not an accurate reflection of his skill. And it certainly limits the awareness throughout the league of his defensive ability. 

On the baserunning side of things, he’s easily the best baserunner in YK Fastball. He reminds me of Elly De La Cruz on the basepaths. For those of you not familiar with Mr. De La Cruz, allow me to introduce you (EDLC). Jaden’s baserunning skills are unmatched, but, when you’ve got Garrett, Vette, Andy, Nichols, and big Dev coming to the plate once you get on base, it really diminishes the impact of those baserunning skills. Heck, I can score anytime I get on base with those guys batting after me and I possess about 10% of Jaden’s speed. 

Overall, I think if Jaden played on any other team in the league (with the possible exception of the stacked Rockies lineup), he would get a lot more love and appreciation for what he brings to the table. 

I appreciate you Jaden. 

Let’s move on to the next group on our list.

18. Mitch Madsen

17. Devin Penney

16. Lonan Bulger

15. Ian Farrer

14. Aaron Plotner

13. Andrew Goodwin

12. Austin Daniels

I went with 7 guys in this group instead of 6 because I liked this cut-off point better. Everyone in the top 11 appeared on all of the ballots that I received (with the exception of Steve and Garrett who chose to be humble and not vote for themselves but undoubtedly know that they are top 20 players in the league). Everyone from 12 – 24 did not appear on all of the ballots, so it seemed like a logical place to draw the line for this next group. 

My quick hit observations on 18 – 12 before I pass it back to you for your analysis. 

• Maybe I should have included numbers 18 and 17 in that last group that I described as “past their prime but hanging on”. 
• There are a lot of good, not great pitchers in this section of the rankings. That seems about right for their value in our league.
• Speaking of, how would you rank the pitchers in this range? From the dugout looking in I would think it should go, #1 Mitch, #2 Penney, #3 AJ, #4 Plotner. But from the results on the field, I would have to move Plotner from #4 to #1 (followed by Mitch, Penney, and AJ). I don’t know how he makes it work, but he makes it work.
• Is Plotner the Gen Z Al Cardinal? 
• On the flip side, I think the hitting skills of the pitchers might be the inverse of their pitching skills… #1 AJ, #2 Penney, #3 Mitch, #4 Plotner.
  • Not that any of them are bad hitters at all. 
• I like the inclusion of Lonan and Austin here. Definitely two of the best young talents in the league. If you were building a team for the next decade in this league and could only pick one, which one of the two would you choose to build around? 

(If I had to face Garrett on a regular basis, I’d probably choose Lonan. He has been crushing Garrett as of late.)

• A voter referred to DC as a “45-year-old Lonan Bulger” and I can’t get this comparison out of my head.
  • I think “45” might have been generous. 

Over to you Nived. How do you feel about this group of our 24 for 2024 list? 

I really like this group of our 24 for 24. Imagine starting a new team in the league and you are given these 7 guys to build around? Another scenario- if our league had a trade deadline, this group could be pieces put on the trade block because they are going to be owed too much money on their next contract, or they are veterans who can still contribute going for one more shot at a championship.

18. Mitch Madsen: First off- if you haven’t already, Vote for Mitch. Mitchy has been slingin’ in this league for decades and has maintained his level of pitching even though his body has been telling him to slow it down. A very headstrong player, exemplified by this quote from Mitch in the beer gardens during the second week of the season: “I can’t pitch more than 3 innings. If I do, then I can’t wipe the next day. But if I have a good game going I’ll tough it out, that’s why I always wear two pairs of underwear”. Well said, Mitchy. Mitch has good command and good movement, is a very difficult out when batting, can hit for contact and power, and can play a few infield positions as well. He is a staple to the Slades roster and can carry them when he’s hot on the mound. The only enemy of Mitch however, is Mitch. At times he can get a bit stuck in that melon of his. But if the Mitch Switch is flipped (trademark pending), no one can get into that brain bucket.

17. Devin Penney: I’ll get this out of the way right off the bat. The most impressive part of Penney’s game is that he does what he does with half of the vision of everyone else. The fact that Penney has been able to bounce back from what he did and still be one of the better players in the league is inconceivable. Penney is an absolute workhorse, as his 2022 Territorials performance can attest to (where he took home MVP honors). Devin can get into a good grove on the mound and while he might not have the strikeout capability of other pitchers, he makes you hit the ball. When his defense is on their game behind him, that’s exactly what you want out of your pitcher- getting hitters to hit grounders and pop flies. I believe Devin is having a bit of a down year at the plate compared to his usual self, but there’s something to be said about having a ‘down year’ at the plate and still making these rankings.

16. Lonan Bulger: You ever see those videos of NHL players playing soccer before their games, and their quads are so big they look like they’re going to explode? That’s essentially Lonan in ball pants. Rumor has it that he gets them tailored for a size XL in the ass, XXXL in the quads, and XL in the calves. The kid is as athletic as they come and possesses the physical attributes required to be effective on defense and offense. Combine those Doerner Fir-esque legs with his ultra competitive mindset and you’ve got yourself one heck of a ball player. Lonan has made massive improvements in the field and at the plate, he’s tracking down fly balls with ease and has shown much more discipline- and power- with his bat. He only wants to get better and his cerebral approach to the game will benefit his improvement. Seriously- the guy’s mind is next level. I once heard him talking about a pitcher who “threw me a rise ball, 2 drops, and then a changeup last year; so, I knew he’d throw me a changeup this year”. I can’t remember what I had for breakfast let alone an at-bat from a year prior. Give Lonan a couple more seasons and I see him in the top 10.

15. Ian Farrer: So, no disrespect to the ability of ‘Bobby’ over the last couple years, but I feel like he came out of nowhere this year regarding his defense. I’ve seen this guy make more diving stops this year than anyone, and he almost makes it look too easy. It is severely frustrating, hammering a ball on the screws down the 3rd base line and thinking “oh that’s at least a double”, and Ian takes one step and superman dives to stop the ball; then doubles up a guy at first from the seat of his pants. His bat is respectable and, in my mind, always has been- Ian is no slouch at the plate. But the sheer athleticism and defensive prowess he has put on display this year has been inconceivable, unimaginable, and downright mind-boggling. I had Ian ranked 10th in my rankings as I felt like he was without a doubt a top 10 player in the league this year. He has been incredibly fun to watch and extremely infuriating to play against.

14. Aaron Plotner: I’ll draw a comparison to my earlier reference with Boyer here in saying that Plotner’s ability to pull through with clutch hits is extraordinary. With the absolutely loaded Rockies lineup, in my mind; Plot is the guy you want at the plate when the game is on the line and a run needs to be cashed. He can get into long at bats, he can hit the ball to both fields, he can lay down a wicked bunt; and heavens to Betsy he has been IMPOSSIBLE TO HIT THIS YEAR. No disrespect to Plot in any way whatsoever, he does not throw the ball that hard. He does not have any pitches you can’t see coming (albeit, he does have a knuckler that dances and a changeup that drops off the face of the planet). One might think the only way for a pitcher to shut down an entire lineup is by having a prime Paul Gard or Andy Terposky out there. As the Rockies (and Stephen A. Smith) might say, preposterous!! Plotner has been unreal on the mound for the Rockies this season (as his top pitcher award from territorials might suggest), and the Rockies approach to their pitching has clearly paid off with 2 tournament wins. Touché, purple. 

13: Andrew Goodwin: The NHL’s Hart Memorial Trophy is an annual award given “to the player adjudged to be the most valuable to his team”. I think if the YK Fastball League had this award, it would obviously be called the Steve Thomas Award. This year, AJ Goodwin is the ‘Steve Thomas Award’ winner in my eyes. AJ taught himself how to pitch to help solve the Thunder’s lack-of-pitching problem and in doing so has gotten to the point where he can keep them in games. He has also made tremendous improvements at the plate and it has paid dividends. Rather than using the Thunder to make his own improvements and jump to another team, AJ has remained committed and used his improvements to benefit his team- which it has. In 2022, the Thunder went 0-12 in the regular season (AJ missed the season due to a torn achilles). In 2023 (AJ returns), they went 4-9. This year they currently sit at 5-9, with a game on Friday to potentially finish 6-9. Talk about making an impact.

(Dr. Rug Update: They did win on Friday to finish 6-9. Nice.)

12: Austin Daniels: Austin is a bright bright light in the Slades organization. He has seemingly improved every year and made big jumps in doing so. Austin carries himself with a ton of maturity on the field- rarely making unforced errors, errant throws from the outfield, baserunning errors, or striking out on bad pitches. He has possibly one of the best throwing arms in the league and from a defensive standpoint, is in my top 3 in the league regarding outfielders. He can hit for contact and power and is very quick on the basepath. He is a 5-tool player and I think will be knocking on the door of the top 7, maybe top 5 of these rankings if he sticks with the game. In terms of your question Dr. Rug, I would pick Austin over Lonan to build around not because of ability, but because I find Austin’s improvement that much more impressive. Austin was a part of the Slades rebuild a few years back and it can be very difficult to learn and develop when a team is going through a transition. No disrespect to Lonan, but the Rockies have been a more consistently solid team over the past while and have been in the mix on tournament Sundays for…ever? Also, there is a chance Lonan is playing pro hockey within the next 10 years, and I would want my starting outfielder to prioritize the YK Fastball League over all extra-curricular activities.

Before we get any further let me just say that I love the fact that you want your starting outfielder to prioritize the YK Fastball League over playing professional hockey. You might have a future in this team building thing.

So far in our conversation I feel like we’re being much too kind to the players in these rankings. We’re really pumping a lot of tires and while I do appreciate the appreciation that we’re handing out, I also feel like we need to keep these guys a little bit grounded. With that said, here’s my one-line critique of everyone we’ve been through so far. 

Borko – Reminds me of Kevin Pillar at this stage in his career. In other news. 

Jaden – I think Landon has more stolen bases than him this year.

DC – Pitch him low and away and he’ll take it for a strike and shake his head at the ump every time.

Whitford – He was the losing pitcher in the most entertaining game of the Thunder’s season.

Mr. Auge – Is there a reason he’s not just coaching fulltime at this point?

Theil – Essentially the definition of an average YK Fastball player.

Mitch – He’s never met a change-up that didn’t break his body or mind.

Penney – His burgers are average at best.

Lonan – A little too prone to chasing the outside rise.

Bobby – Mediocre base coach, even worse at chirping. 

Plot – He’s a Chicago Bears fan.

AJ – Someone please make sure he wears his batting helmet the next time he goes camping.

Chubbs – Need a little more effort out of him in the field, seems to lollygag around out there quite a bit. 

Ok, I feel better about these rankings now. Moving along into the top 11 (unless of course you’d like to take some shots at the first 13 yourself), let’s take an in-depth look at this year’s top dogs, starting with these 4.

11. Jonny White

10. Brian Couvrette

9. Trent Dundas

8. Herb Mathison

We’ve got a bunch of versatile athletes in this grouping. I’ll let you take the first stab at breaking down their games. What makes these guys top 10(ish) players in our league? 

Obviously, I will join in on the shot-taking of the first 13.

Borko- He swings way, way too hard at the plate; and wonders why he missed the ball.

Jaden- I’m surprised he hasn’t popped out a shoulder yet this year.

DC- He runs weird. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t trust it.

Whitford- If he focused less on his on-field one liners, he’d probably hit better.

Mr. Auge- Who exactly is he supposed to coach?

Theil- I feel like you have this one covered.

Mitch- Yes, but he’s never met a double cheeseburger or pack of smokes that DID break his body or mind.

Penney- Say what you will about his burgers, but don’t you dare talk about his bologna.

Lonan- His sister might be a better hockey player.

Bobby- Come to think of it, are his diving stops just for show? Are they really necessary?

Plot- I feel like you also have this one covered.

AJ- I give his commercial acting a 6/10.

Alright that felt good. You are right that we were getting a bit too wholesome there, and part of our job (which you have been doing for years), is to give a reality check when needed. On to the next four:

11. Johnny White: What in the f**k is this chicken s**t bulls**t. I don’t know if everyone else was supplied hallucinogenic godd*mn substances before compiling their rankings but Johnny White being ranked at 11 is godd*mn f**kin disgraceful and a complete and utter f**kin disservice to his ability as a ball player in this league. It’s flagitious, it’s nefarious, it’s reprehensible, and it’s god*mn f**kin embarrassing. Tom White himself did not drag his ass through years of playing in this league, lug around Johnny’s ball gear in a Subaru Outback, teach him the fundamentals of ball and sculpt an excellent ballplayer (and even better person), for him to be slighted in the rankings. I feel sick. This is sickening. It’s sacrilege, Dr. Rug. I could throw up I’m so angry… but what’s done is done and I will move forward. For background knowledge on my reaction, I will point out that I had Mr. Johnny White ranked #3 in my rankings, and frankly that was an easy decision. I believed that positions 1-3 were the easiest positions to rank, and every other position required a bit more thought. Johnny in my opinion, is the clear-cut best catcher in the league (and an excellent second baseman). I believe he calls an excellent game, and for some reason he gets underestimated with his throwing power and almost always takes advantage of people trying to steal. He has been a very good hitter at the plate this year and comes through when it matters (I’m sensing a pattern with Rockies players and showing up when it matters). I apologize, Johnny; I firmly believe you should be ranked higher. What a joke.

10. Brian Couvrette: The Vette. What can I say that has not already been said about this luxurious animal in previous articles? A true veteran of the league and embodies all the attributes of a top-notch recreational fastball player… until that motormouth gets going. One nice thing about Brian is that he’s impossible to lose because you can always hear when he’s at the ballpark. All this aside, Brian is a very, very good defensive player. His ability to track balls in the outfield is outstanding, which is due to his speed and drive to never give up on a ball. Brian can also step into infield positions where needed. I think Brian hasn’t hit his best this year, but he is someone who can still find ways to contribute to a team even when he’s off his game. Whether that be through laying down a bunt, making a diving play in the outfield, or poorly delivering a bad joke to the responses of moans and groans from his teammates; Brian makes himself noticeable in every game he plays. I will also add that Brian may have unintentionally passed on too many tips and tricks on the game of Fastball to Landon, who may be nipping on Brian’s heels for his starting spot with the Giants soon (which we would all love to see). He is unapologetically himself, and I must respect that. Love you, Brian!

9. Trent Dundas: Trent graced the YK Fastball League with his presence a few years ago and is relatively new to the scene compared to most of the other players on this list. However, he has proven that experience in the league isn’t required to be a great player- as Trent is just that. His baseball skills have transferred tremendously to the game of fastball and Trent is in my mind the best middle infielder on the Rockies roster, and in discussion for best in the league. He has an absolute cannon of an arm and his athleticism playing short and second are extremely impressive. He is a complete student of the game, and in my mind the “Bryson DeChambeau” of the league. If you don’t really understand that comparison, just ask him about swing mechanics, fielding mechanics, pitching mechanics… any mechanics! Trent will happily discuss them with you in depth and very intelligently until you bring Brian in to change the conversation or fall asleep. Either way, the guy has crazy knowledge of Fastball which is probably why he runs camps and clinics for NWT Softball in communities. All he’s missing is the coach’s jacket and the Rockies would have their first ever General Manager.

8. Herb Mathisen: I friggin love Herby. Herb is built like Steve Rogers before he took the super soldier serum, but with the super soldier speed and strength. Whether it looks routine or scrambly (Herb loves the outfield slide, and I love watching Herb do the outfield slide), he seemingly makes a play on every ball hit to center. Line drive over his head? He will make an inexplicably athletic skip-hop and catch it. Line drive on the ground to his right or left? He will slide 18 feet to stop the ball and keep you at first. He also has a powerful arm, and you can tell that baserunners are not willing to challenge him by taking the extra base (they will do that when Scoots is in the outfield). Oh, and I forgot to mention- Herb can also crush the ball, hit for contact, steal a base; you name it. Herb at the plate draws comparisons to prime Ishii in my mind- he will foul off pitches until the pitcher either walks him or he smokes one into the gap. On top of all of that- have you ever talked to the guy? He’s got an aura about him that makes you feel like you’re walking into the build-a-bear workshop for the first time as a kid to get your first bear built. Obviously, an integral part to keeping the Rockies emotions level when they are in tight situations- who can be mad when they’re watching their build-a-bear get stuffed for the first time? Remarkable. In my rankings for center fielders, Herby ranks #1 this year. Keep doing you, Herby.

Before I provide some response to your comments let me just say that your chirp of Chubbs, just leaving him off your shot-taking list entirely, might be the best chirp of all. The disrespect of not even commenting on him is brilliant. 

Moving on… 

I willingly accept all of your criticism, accusations, and vitriol, for I was one of those people much lower on Johnny in my rankings than you were. Granted, I wasn’t as low as a certain older Hinchey brother was, you may want to have a private conversation with him, but I do admit I may not have a full appreciation of Mr. White’s skills. I think he is the type of player that does fly under the radar, particularly within the stacked line-up of the Rockies. He’s not the flashiest of the Rockies (Case), not the loudest of the Rockies (Chad), not the Rocky most likely to tell you how to play fastball (Trent), and not the Rocky most likely to end up telling drunk stories in the beer gardens at 11pm on a championship Sunday (Plotner… ok, it’s probably Chad again but I wanted a different name here). He just goes out and does his job, day in and day out in a workman-like way at an all-star level. In our league, that’s easy to overlook. With all that being said, I still think you were a little too high in your ranking of Johnny. Acknowledging my own inherent bias against the “non-flashy, just gets it done” type player, I can’t put him over either one of the Devins or Mr. Nichols. Even if you concede that any or all of those three may be having a down year by their own standards, those standards are high enough that I would still have to rank them above Johnny. In my opinion, having Johnny at #3 is just as wild as having him outside the top 10. And if you want to talk about disrespect to an excellent Catcher/Second Baseman combo player, let’s talk about Cahoon not even making the top 30? But, as we’ve said all along, the gloriousness of personal rankings as opposed to Dr. Rug Algorithm Rankings, is that we’re allowed, nay encouraged, to disagree. 

Moving on to the other guys in this section: 

Vette, as you accurately point out, has been covered way too much in previous articles, at this point there’s not much more to say. And if there is, you can be sure he’ll say it himself. 

Trent is definitely the best player in the league that wasn’t playing the last time I was living in Yellowknife. It’s been great to see him play in person this year and get to understand the hype I’ve been hearing about him. He easily belongs in the top 10.

I friggin’ love Herbie too. As a genuine great person. As for Herb the ball player? Well… I had him ranked 18^th. If we’re willing to accept your premise that Johnny is a hands-down, no-doubter, top 10 player than Herb is the guy I think you have to drop out. I get that he’s a good all-around player, and you’re right about the clubhouse aura, but I just don’t see top 10 when I watch Herbie play. Maybe it’s partially that anti-“non-flashy, just gets it done” bias that I have that I was mentioning earlier but you comparing his plate approach to prime Ishii is insulting to prime Ishii. You want to talk about sacrilege, that comparison is sacrilegious.

Not to sidetrack the conversation too much here but you brought up prime Ishii so I feel I need to articulate just how good prime Ishii was at the plate in terms of battling a pitcher, fouling off balls, and working a count to get a walk or a mistake he could hit. Take a look at these Ishii stats from my historic top 200 article:

• It’s not that it’s a surprise that he led the league in walks given his approach at the plate, but he put up 82 walks total; the next closest was Andy Williams at 44. 
• Kevin walked in over 21% of his plate appearances. That’s ridiculous.
• Kevin scored almost twice as many runs as he drove in (176 to 94), this is indication of either his excellent on-base and baserunning skills or the ineptitude of the bottom of the Slades order. I’ll let you decide which one.
• Thanks in large part to his walk total, Kevin was on base 244 times, or 31 times more than anyone else in the league. That means that on average he made it on base more than twice per game over the seven year period.
• The walk total also led to Kevin having 29 more runs scored than he had total base hits. The only other person in the top 50 with more runs scored than base hits was Primetime (+10).  

I want to highlight one of those stats one more time… “on average he made it on base more than twice per game over a seven-year period”. This doesn’t make any adjustments for games where he may have sat half the game. Games that were over in 3, 4, or 5 innings due to mercy. For a 7-year stretch (and most likely even longer than that, these were just the available stats at the time), on average he was on base at least twice a game, in every single game he appeared in.  

This was prime Ishii. 

This is not Herb.

My apologies to you Herb, you are a fantastic guy, one of my favourite people on the Rockies for sure, but if we had a league-wide redraft there’s no way you’d end up on my team given my rankings versus everyone else’s. 

One last aside on this, one of our voters called Herb, “the evolutionary Andy Penton” and I think this comparison is much more apt than “prime Ishii”. 

Moving on before I piss off Herb too much, let’s get to the next tier of players on the list or, as it’s more commonly known, the Hincheys. 

7. Garrett Hinchey

6. Devin Hinchey

5. Chad Hinchey

Similar to Couvrette, a lot has already been written about the skills of the Hincheys as they have all appeared in each of the previous sets of rankings. They are all easily back in the top 10 again this year as they were in the most recent rankings, and Chad continues his impressive streak of being the only person to appear in the top 10 of each and every set of Dr. Rug Player Rankings. All of them continue to be beasts both on the mound and at the plate. I’m not sure what more there is to say about these guys so let’s instead do a comprehensive break down of the best Hinchey at various skillsets.

Best contact hitter – Garrett

Best power – Chad

Most majestic power – Devin

(note: The subtle difference between the last two categories, Chad is the Aaron Judge to Devin’s Giancarlo Stanton. Judge will have more home runs but Stanton will crush some that just make you stop and stare in awe.) 

Fastest base runner – Devin

Most heads-up base runner – Garrett

Best clutch hitter – Brent 

Best defense from the pitcher spot – Chad

Best OF defense – Devin

Best 1B defense – Garrett 

Most unorthodox – Garrett (Who throws left and bats right? Are you Madison Bumgarner?)

Best DJ – Cynergii

Best Karaoke – Garrett (RIP Suds Cup Karaoke party)

Best hair – Devin

Best heat (pitching) – Chad

Best stuff (pitching) – Garrett 

Best Change-up (pitching) – Devin

Most 2024 titles – Chad 

As you can see, the battle for the title of best Hinchey, remains as tightly contested as possible. Mr. Coustom, perhaps you can shed some light on who’s the top Hinchey in your humble opinion?

I appreciate your recognition of the non-chirp. It wasn’t worth the 13 seconds to google, “synonyms for lackluster personality”; so I moved on.

To address the biggest piece of your response- fair point and feedback taken on the Herb/Ishii comparison. I think in my raging emotional whirling dervish response to Johnny’s ranking, I miscommunicated my thoughts and in doing so, insulted the immortal Ishii. My apologies Mr. Ishii- the Doc is correct in that you do stand alone. Doc- I do want to say that my words were, “Herb draws comparisons to Prime Ishii”. What I meant by that was specifically the long at-bats and frustration Herby can create within a defence as a hitter. I don’t have anything more to say as you captured quite beautifully the legacy of Prime Ishii. I owe him a couple Monterey Chicken taquitos from Winks and a Reddi-Mart soft serve. 

I do stand by my belief on Johnny’s ranking (and great point regarding Cahoon- there’s an underrated defensive staple of the Giants). To be frank- that’s exactly what these rankings are for! To create some disagreements, discussion, divorces, emancipations; the typical responses to opinionated sports articles. So I appreciate you digging deep on that response Rug, I found myself lost in reading your eloquence. 

Alright moving on! The Hincheys! Those friggin dorks. I will happily give my opinion on who’s the top Hinchey. If you ask one of them, it’s either themselves or whichever one is in the room with them at that time. I’m gonna throw a back door curveball here Doc, I am not going to waste any time on those milk bags as they are not in the conversation for top Hinchey. Their wives, however, are the best part of those 3 idiots so I will be highlighting them. 

• Alanna Hinchey (Chad)- Alanna is a Biomedical Engineer. Do YOU know how to fix medical equipment and keep it operational so people can be kept alive? DIDN’T THINK SO! But Alanna knows how to! She’s also a former cheerleader, an unreal gymnast, and an all-around great person. While she’s out saving lives, Chad is laying on his back trying to get his ball pants on. 

• Reilly Hinchey (Devin)- Reilly is well known around the park (and I believe made an appearance on a Hinchey Ranking list previously in one of Doctor Rug’s articles), and currently holds the title for the only MacNeil to hit a walk off in a YK Fastball League game. Hey J-Rod and Prime! Reilly is also an extremely experienced leader: she coaches volleyball, volunteers with TSO’s, and is a role model for young athletes. Devin as a leader let the Trappers fold and is a role model for no one. 

• Ivania Carballo-Hinchey (Garrett)- Ivania is a world-class athlete, and that’s no exaggeration. She has competed in fencing while representing her home country of El Salvador, most notably in the Pan-American Games. It is also not an exaggeration to say you may see her in the Olympics fencing some day. She has travelled the world winning bouts with ease and dominance. Garrett has travelled the world sampling restaurants with robot servers and is internationally known (his words) for his on-site reporting during a heatwave wearing a straw hat a drinking a big gulp. 

In conclusion, the 3 Hinchey wives are the best Hinchey. Or Brent, Brent is a good choice as well. 

You make a very good point about the best of the Hinchey clan. The three wives are decidedly better than the brothers.

Well, it’s now Sunday night and we’ve got the playoffs kicking off in less than 24 hours (not to mention the fact that we’re fast approaching 10,000 words) so we best be wrapping up this article as quick as possible. Let’s take a look at our top 4.

4. Ryan Nichols

3. Devin Case

2. Steve Thomas

1. Andy Williams

Really not much of a surprise in our top 4. They weren’t exactly my top 4, as I had Nichols and Case a little lower, but I have no qualms whatsoever about these 4 guys being the top dogs. It was interesting to see that both Andy and Steve were first or second on every ballot that I received (other than the ones that had no particular order) and that the first place votes were evenly split between the two of them. In the end, Andy finished in the #1 spot because Steve was humble and didn’t include himself on his list, whereas Andy just didn’t submit a list so had no opportunity to be humble. It’s unfortunate that the Prospectors won’t be playing this week, so we don’t get a chance to see this battle play out on the diamond. Overall, while there were some questionable opinions lower down in the rankings, the players in our league seem to be pretty accurate on the top tier.

Mr. Coustom, what are your thoughts on our top 4? And any other final comments before we wrap this up and get ready for the playoffs?  

These 4 were all in my top 5. I feel like it’s universally understood in our league that Andy, Steve, Case, and Nichols are the best players in the league in any situation, regardless of how they are playing. There’s not much else you can say about them other than they are the best of the best. I’ll give a quick breakdown on these fellas:

4. Ryan Nichols: Unbelievable, indisputable defence with Nichols. Nothing gets by him at short, and he’s the best 2-strike hitter in the league in my opinion.

3. Devin Case: Filthy, filthy hands on the guy. He picks up “Tommy hops” unlike anyone else, and makes a very quick transition from glove to hand which helps him get a lot of people out. Also has the best ass in ball pants.

2. Steve Thomas: Not much to say about Steve that everyone doesn’t already know. He’s untouchable on the mound, and if he had a bit of a better record as a hitter he would be #1 in these rankings.

1. Andy Williams: Best hitter in the league hands down, hits the ball harder than anyone. Also one of the best in the league defensively at every infield position. Pretty decent combo. Well done, Thrill.

My only final comment, is that this has been an absolute treat Dr Rug. Also that I encourage people reading this to discuss the rankings amongst themselves!

I wish all the best to everyone competing in the playoffs as we look to crown a new league champion. Will the Rockies complete the tournament sweep? Or will someone tear them down from their King’s Chair? Only time will tell.

Thank you Mr. Nived Coustom for your fantastic assistance on this article, it has indeed been an absolute treat! We may have tailed off a little bit here at the end but on the whole I’d say we did a pretty good job of covering the top 24 for 24. I look forward to the next combo article that we put together. 

A few final thoughts from me before we officially sign off and get the playoffs underway. 

First of all, a big thank you to those players from the league that answered the call and submitted their rankings. We didn’t get as many submissions as I had hoped, but we did have enough to make these rankings. 

Secondly, good luck to all the teams that are playing this week in the league playoffs. It should be a fun week of games and hopefully a great Saturday night celebration regardless of which squad wins. 

Third, just so their egos don’t get too big, a quick critique of each of the final four (I didn’t bother doing this for the Hincheys because there’s no hope in stopping those egos).

4. Nichols – He let the easiest grounder I’ve ever seen go right through the wickets last game. Is he washed up?

3. Case – Has been known on occasion not to run out balls hit up the middle that the pitcher knocks down. A terrible example for all the kids out there of not hustling. 

2. Steve – As the pass balls clearly indicate, he obviously has trouble hitting the target when Dustin is catching. May need to bear down a little more in pressure situations. 

1. Andy – His batting average and power from the left side of the plate is way down this year. Injuries are no excuse. 

And lastly, but certainly not least… 

Vote for Mitch!