Meet the Pirates

29 06 2011

by Garrett Hinchey

The F.E.D. Tile/Fire Prevention Pirates have been sponsored by F.E.D. Tile Ltd.  and Fire Prevention Services Ltd. since their inception in 2006.  No team benefited from the recent dissolving of the Yellowknife Junior Merchants like the Pirates, who have no fewer than five former members of Sport North’s 2010 Team of the Year in the line up, bringing with them a bevy of experience on the national and international level – an impressive recruiting job by team brass to add to an already strong roster.  This year, two of those players took over the team captaincy reins, bringing the transition from old guard to new full-circle.

Last season, the Pirates fell in the league finals to the HBC Diamondbacks after an epic 2 game, 3 day playoff marathon that saw play suspended due to rain and darkness on consecutive days, a 22-20 extra inning victory, the blowing of a 14-1 lead, the regaining of said lead, and the blowing of it again.  After last year’s surprising surge to the top of the league, the Pirates are out to prove that 2010 was no fluke, and have some unfinished business to take care of in 2011.

So, without further adieu, I am pleased to introduce to you the 2011 FED Tile/Fire Prevention Pirates:

– #4, Darcy “Ol Faithful” Moshenko, P: Founding member and anchor of the pitching rotation, Darcy’s consistency issues have become a thing of the past.  Now if we could just say the same about his bat…

– #7, Garrett “High Heat” Hinchey, P: Tons of power, tons of control issues.  One thing’s for sure – it’s coming hard, either down the middle or at your head.

– #97, Andy “Cap” Williams, C/3B: Perhaps the league’s most cerebral player with the departure of the immortal Darren Campbell.  Expert at giving signals nobody remembers.

– #9, Terry “Death” Rowe, 2B/3B: A call-up this year from AAA Hay River.  Getting his hitting up to speed will be his biggest challenge.

– #12, Ryan “Wonderboy” Theil, OF: Looking to build off of last year’s breakout performance in the league playoffs.  Quietly emerging as the team’s most dangerous hitter.

– #38, Chad “Herp Derp” Hinchey, CF/P: Blessed with elite physical tools, Chad could be the best player in the league in time.  He’s already the fastest.

– #8, Ryan “The Knuckle” Sheppard, OF/P: Already a slow-pitch legend, Shep returns to the league after a one year hiatus – and promptly ends up on the DL.  Should have an impact in the outfield and on the mound, as long as his problem knee can hold up to the rigors of double-flat Fridays.

– #5, Devin “The Third Sexiest Hinchey” Hinchey, OF: One of the youngest players in the league, 15 year-old Devin is already showing poise beyond his years.  Doesn’t hurt that he’s 6 foot 3.

– #10, Adrian “Boomer” Lizotte, 1B: Another Pirates co-founder, Adrian has one of the most feared bats in the league and is one of three Pirates who isn’t ID’d on a regular basis.

– #39, Curtis “Geebs” Gibeau, 2B: Curtis is a long-time Pirate stalwart and a solid defensive infielder.  Also does maintenance at Tommy Forrest, giving the Pirates “home field advantage” for every game.

– #11, Kirk “Hanley” Sangris, SS: After a complicated buy out issue kept Kirk out of a Pirates jersey last season, YK’s top free agent returns to terrorize the league yet again – as soon as he’s finished with his current hitting slump.

– Keegan “Rebecca Black” Shea, OF: Keegan can only play on Fridays, but provides another quick outfielder with a solid bat when he’s in the line-up.

– #17, Brad “AWOL” Mueller, C: Mueller sightings are becoming the stuff of legend.  Last I heard he showed up to a game last August, hit a 400 foot home run, then was never seen again.

– #44, James “Baby Ruth” Mackay, DH: A recent signing, James bolsters a strong Pirates line-up with a solid bat.

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